Ultimate Bridal Shower Guide
Quick cute story time:
Bridal showers started when a Dutch girl fell in love with a poor miller. Because the daughter’s dad knew she wouldn’t be properly provided for, he objected to the marriage. The neighborhood and friends wanted the two lovebirds to get married so they created a procession and marched to the girl’s house. To make up for the poor miller, they showered her with gifts like blankets, linens, and pots. And after seeing all the support from the neighborhood and friends, the father was convinced and agreed to the marriage.
Fast forward to today, bridal showers are now part of the wedding tradition. Back then, gifts were the foundation of the shower. Whereas now, etiquette and manners forbid us from expecting gifts.
However, for your bridal shower, it is actually considered rude if the bride doesn’t open the gifts in front of everyone. Opening gifts on-site is a huge part of the party. But the number one rule is to have fun!
Bridal Shower Guide
What is a bridal shower? A bridal shower is a fun occasion where the bride’s close family and friends get together and celebrate before the big day! The purpose of the celebration is to help calm the bride’s anxiety but also shower her with gifts to help set her up for her future home.
Who hosts the bridal party and pays for it? Traditionally, it’s the maid of honor who throws the bridal party. And if finances are an issue, she can ask a group of people for help and not the bride! Nowadays, people are busy and the maid of honor may not have the time. In this case, it can be a friend, parents, or close relatives. There is no strict rule about who has to throw the bridal shower. Just make sure it is someone near and dear to the bride.
When there’s two brides to be, you can host a couple’s shower so that neither of the brides feels left out, especially if you have the same friend group. That being said, most same sex couples will do separte bachelor or bachelorette party. But again, this is your preference. If you want two separate bridal showers, do it! No one is stopping you!
When should the bridal shower take place?
The bridal shower should be about 2-3 months before the wedding. And don’t forget, the bachelorette party is usually 1-2 months before the wedding. Since the bride is showered with gifts at the bridal shower, it’s good to have it as the first celebration. That way, the couple can adjust their registry for their wedding shower, bachelor and bachelorette party, and wedding.
Bridal Shower Invitations
The invitation list for the bridal shower should be written by the bride and comprised of people close to her. Make sure that all of the shower invitees are also invited to the wedding. You don’t want it to be awkward, right? The host of the shower will then reach out to everyone on the list. Most likely, there are going to be some people who can’t attend so there’s a bit of 5% wiggle room where you can invite a few extra people.
Even if you don’t expect some people to attend, you should still invite them as a courtesy. For example, these people could be the mother of the bride and groom, sisters, grandmothers, step-mom, and close aunts. Although the shower would be fun with just your girlies, make sure to invite them. In addition, the bridesmaids should all be invited.
The bridal shower is usually exclusively for women. Although in recent years the future groom will stop by at the end to open gifts together. But if he doesn’t want to, don’t force him. This shower is a treat for you!
Bridal Shower Activities
Aside from opening gifts and girl talk, there are games that are usually played. If you’re the type of person that loves parties, this is going to be a great day! But if you are more introverted, try to just have fun! Like I said, this is a party for you. Take a few breaks in between if it’s too much for you. You should be comfortable at your party!
Bridal Shower Games
Let’s talk about games. Because there are going to be different aged people at your bridal shower, you want the games to be appropriate. You can have your X-rated games at your bachelorette party.
First, I love the “In Her Words” game. Assign someone to discreetly write down what the bride comments every time she opens her gifts. At the end of opening all the gifts, read her the comments she said back to her as what she’ll say on her wedding night to her husband. Everyone loves this game, especially the bride, and it’s a little dirty hehe. Sorry grandma.
Next up, recipes for marriage. Although this isn’t really a game, it’s a fun way to tell the bride the secret recipe for marriage. It can be a joke, piece of advice, motivational quote, or an actual food recipe. At the end, everyone reads their card out loud. It’s a great souvenir for the bride too.
An oldie but a goodie: the toilet paper wedding gown. Separate people into groups and have them choose a model. Then everyone designs a wedding gown using toilet paper and the bride chooses who has the best gown. At the end, you can give them a small little prize. Let their imaginations and creativity flow.
Ribbon Bouquet
Another tradition during a bridal shower is making a ribbon bouquet. While the bride is opening her gifts, one of the bridesmaids will create a bouquet out of the ribbons and bows from the gifts. If the host remembers, she’ll bring artificial flowers and other material to fill up the gaps of the bouquet. At the end, the bridesmaid will present it to the bride and this bouquet is then used at the dinner rehearsal. Eco-friendly and cute – I love it!
Bridal Shower Gifts
Don’t be shy – gift opening is part of the tradition. I know, we’re taught to not open gifts in front of people. Not here though. In fact, the gift opening part of the shower will take more time than you think. So have fun with it!
Side note: practice your poker face in the mirror just in case there’s a gift you don’t particularly like. Just saying.
One last thing, make sure you have someone who is writing down what gifts you receive and from who. You, the bride, will have to write out thank you cards to everyone who attended. So don’t forget that part!
Your thank you cards should be written out to everyone. You can write the host a thank you card with a little gift like a candle just to show your appreciation.
At the latest, the thank you cards should be mailed out 3 weeks after the shower. But try to get them done as soon as possible.
And if you’re looking to buy a bridal shower gift, the best place to get an idea is the wedding registry. You can buy something useful or funny – whatever you think the bride will enjoy. Most of the time, bridal shower gifts are home appliances or decorations, but feel free to get creative.
Bridal Shower Attire
What to wear to the bridal shower? If there’s ever a time where you should dress appropriately, this is it. No matter how casual the bridal shower is, the bride should dress like the center of attention.
Do your hair, put on some jewelry, wear a cute outfit, and pair it with some heels or wedges. Your attire will depend on factors like time, place, and theme. Remember, people came for you so be respectful and show appreciation to those who organized the shower.
If you have a free makeup and hair trial before your wedding day, this is a perfect time to use that! Lots of pictures will be taken at your bridal shower. And if this is not an option, play with your makeup and hair yourself and see what works for you!
I will say, most of the time, the future bride-to-be will wear a white dress or jumpsuit.
Moral of the story: don’t dress like you just jumped out of bed 30 minutes before the bridal shower. Great places to buy a bridal shower dress are Lulus, Hello Molly, and Asos.
As for everyone else, wear something cute but don’t overshadow the bride. Jeans with a cute top and heels will do. It’s her day so plan accordingly! Just don’t wear sweatpants and a sweater… Yes, I’ve seen girls do that (insert: eye roll emoji).
Bridal Shower Memos
Whether you like being the center of attention or not, it’s going to happen. You’re the bride! Of course you’re going to be the center of attention. Sorry girl, you’re just going to have to get over it.
Speaking of being uncomfortable, if you find out the bridal shower plans and it’s not something you’re too fond of, you have two options. First, you can talk to the host and discuss it like civil adults. Or, you can say nothing. I would pick option number two.
Why? Well here’s my reasoning. Someone is taking time out of their busy schedule to throw YOU a party. They didn’t have to do this and it shouldn’t be expected. They’re doing this because they love you and want to do it. Even though it’s not your style and you find it cringey, don’t worry, your wedding is where you can determine everything.
And 50 years from now, you’ll think about your wedding day. But you’ll also think about your wedding process, bridal shower, wedding shower, bachelorette party, etc. Make sure to save these memories for you and your partner! Bring a camera and take photos with everyone that’s there. And save some physical items like napkins, menus, and decorations to put into your scrapbook.
With this being said, I hope you have a wonderful time at your bridal shower!
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